Me

My name is Kelton McNair and I am homeless.

I have been to college and the military, I work every day and I am not on drugs, but I am homeless.

Some people say, “Why don’t you go to a shelter?” The shelters are worse than being on the streets. You have to guard your possessions. They are full of drugs, and you have to be careful of diseases. Also they have programs but the programs are centered around drug and alcohol recovery. So if you don’t have one of those problems, the programs become even more demoralizing and they don’t allow you to work.

So I live on the streets, work, and pray to God for an honest chance. But everyday I have to trust that God will do it again, because at night when I am alone, the devil has time to speak to my idle mind and remind me of everything that I don’t have. At night he has a chance to place the, “Why am I doing this?” thoughts in my mind.

 You know I lay there and hear the cars moving and think, “They have somewhere to go.” Or I see families walking, through restaurant windows, and think maybe one day…

But ultimately I am alone with just my thoughts, and my only refuge is going to work so I can feel human or like a man.

Until someone asks you what are you going to do when you get home. I go to church on Sunday and tell everyone that I am doing good, when deep down I am hurting so bad.

But I don’t want them to lose faith in God, so I tell them I am OK. I pray to God to bless me so I can bless someone else.

I think if this is what my life, is at least give me the ability or the words to change one person’s life. Let me do something good so you will like me again, God. I am homeless, but I have hope in God, hope that I have to reinvent everyday.

I am homeless, but I am human too. See me and not my situation, don’t look at me with pity.

Help me stand as a human being.

I am a man who needs a hand. Will you lift me up? I am homeless, but I am human too.

image attribution

Photo by Steven Wright on Unsplash