This night I lay here and think about trust.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not on thine on understanding and in all ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they ways.
How do I develop that honest trust if I don’t see a future? It’s good to bring me the word of God, but it is better to show me the word of God. Give me hope through action and not word. Show me the love of God through honest love for me. Help me help myself, I don’t want a hand out but my circumstances has made me have to accept them.
I turn to God constantly and wonder am I that bad of a person. God you know My heart I say, look upon it and see the love that I have. Is this My fate if it is take this cup from me, let me come home to you. I don’t want a lot God, a bed, a shower to wash in when I want and food to eat. I am willing to work hard to keep it. Just let My foot get in the door. I trust in you Lord, but I don’t trust man to give me a chance.
So God when I sleep tonight keep me safe and make a way for me to feel human again, if it be your will that I wake up tomorrow. Guide my steps so I may lead others to you and I can be a living example of your grace and mercy. Look at me God and see your child, for I know if you would just look at me everything will get better. Just please Look at me God.
image attribution:“Tryon Street” (CC BY 2.0) by jacreative