It’s hard to get motivated today, because honestly I see no future for me.
I have no confidence in man to give me a honest chance . I have so many obstacles against me, what is the use of me trying? My tears today are not for me, but for others that come after me. Because I don’t see society getting any better.
In a world designed for the privileged, I have no place, except to live pay check to pay check with out a chance to save a dime. Being homeless is hard for someone who wants more.
They have this thing called “Rooms at the Inn,” but if you work it’s hard to get into. You have to be there at a certain time and get on the list and if you work at night then you are dead. So you spend your time at work hoping that few belongings that you do have is still there. Or you have to decide if you want to spend the little money you do have on a room so you can take a shower and feel safe at least for one night.
So no I don’t see any future for me but this, I am designed to die here on the streets alone. God sees me but he doesn’t like me. I bring shame to his word, “hope.” Because today, I don’t have any.
I got my first check yesterday. It wasn’t a full one but I felt good for a second, until I realized it would be used for some things I need to do to secure my future freedom: Just to give me a chance to be homeless.
It’s ironic the privileged pay for roofs and I pay just so the sky can be my roof.
So now I fight for motivation. I fight to feel like a man today.
My father always told me that a man with no money in his pockets is not a man. So for now I am not a man, I am just existing.
image attribution:Photo by Breno Assis on Unsplash