Saltine Crackers


I lay here with my phone and look at people on Facebook, see how happy they are with their families, see the good food that they are enjoying and I lay here eating saltines so I can sleep on not empty stomach.

I can’t help but ask God why me, am I that bad of a person. I have confessed my sins to you and before man.

Why God does my life have to be this way? So I ask you God if this is all I am worth, then take my life. Because I don’t know how much longer I will survive, my hope and motivation are leaving more and more each day.

I am tired mentally and physically. I am alone with just my thoughts and the devil is winning right now.

Why God, I am begging you to help me. I am alone and have no one else to turn to, please God help me.

Right now all I am thinking about is taking my own life so I can end this misery. Why God why please help me, I need you right now. I lay here alone and if I am dead at least I won’t know that I am alone.

Why God? Why am I not your child? I am close God to giving up.

I don’t want my old life and this one is not working. So what other choice do I have, because right now I don’t even feel as if I exist.

Just so everyone that did care know I tried, I really did.

Please forgive me.

image attribution

Photo by Romina BM on Unsplash


  • Kelton McNair

    Resident of Charlotte, North Carolina, and member of Caldwell Presbyterian Church. Working in food service. US Army veteran.






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